On Burning Bridges

Earlier today, one of my close friends posted in her Facebook wall:

"Don’t burn bridges; you will be surprise how many times you have to cross that same river."
-John Mason

Though she is a good friend of mine, I vehemently disagree with her idea of "not burning bridges".


Eight or ten years back, I wrote in my "About Me" page:
"I burn bridges and dump people just like that.
If people are mean to me, I am hundred times meaner to them."

What stroke me as odd is the fact that so many people believe in "maintaining" bridges, while I stand firm, and tenaciously live up to what I wrote ten years ago.

I reckon that only "brave" people have the "courage" to burn bridges.

There was this one person that my friend and I used to know (the same friend who wrote the above).

At first we thought she was a good person, but later on we found out that she was not.

I didn't hesitate to eradicate her in my life after learning her true color:
A user and a free-loader who saw her husband as an ATM machine.

I know you are thinking now that "that's none of your business".
I know that is none of my business.
That is her life and I know where to draw my line.

But it is my business to choose who to keep in my life.
It is my business to know who I am brushing shoulders with.

I am so meticulous with my circle of people that the moment I learned the ugly truth about her - she was out.
Do not get me wrong.

I am not judgmental, and I am not here to philosophize.

Let me reiterate the main topic again . . . And that is "burning bridges".

My question now is: must we or must we not burn bridges?

This friend of mine believes that we must not burn bridges for we never know when we have to cross the same river again; while I believe that we shouldn't be scared to burn bridges as long as we are either good swimmers or experts in building new bridges.

The example I have given above is the example of a person whom I would not hesitate burning bridge with.

I don't want to judge her.
But I do not want to have anything to do with her either.

Personally, she did me nothing wrong.

But I have seen what she did to others.

She wasn't the first one who I burned bridge with, and she won't be the last.

All my life, I have met so many people: some were really amazing, kind-hearted people who are worth keeping, while some were just waste of time (users, liars, freeloader, no backbone).

These dregs of humanity are ones that we shouldn't keep in our lives.
And by the word "dregs", I do not mean poor or ugly or anything.

I categorize people based on their beliefs, ideals, attitude, and outlook in life - not based on their social standing, financial standing, physical appearance, education, and some shallow things.

I truly believe that you are NOT what you have. You are what you do.

And I have ultimate respect for people who neither take advantage nor use anyone.

Don't get me wrong!
I am not claiming to be perfect!
In fact, I am far from it.

I am mean.
I am rude.
I am straightforward and nasty.

I know my ugly flaws, and I am not proud of them.

But one thing I am proud: I am the "truest" person you could ever meet.
I do not bullshit around.
I do not shower everyone with compliments.
If nice words would come out of my mouth, they are well-meant and true.
I mean what I say and I say what I mean.

You could never expect me to stab you at your back.
I WILL ALWAYS STAB YOU IN FRONT.
It could really get ugly- but at least, you know what I am truly thinking.

The thing with "not burning bridges" is I find it very superficial and shallow.
I find it very insincere.
We, Filipinos, have the best term for it - "plastik".

Why should we keep the bridges with people we do not like, right?
We should never!
We should always be fearless.
It is our life, and we have all the right to choose who to keep in it.

I am very particular with whom I keep in my life.
I always make sure that I keep only the special ones.
Life is too short to be filled with crap.

All my life I had dumped people, and I believe that I will continue to do so.
(Choosy as I am - only the true ones remain)

And unlike others, I resolutely believe that I have the luxury and the right to do so since I happen to be a good swimmer and I have the ability to build "new" bridges with "worthy" people.

I am not self-righteous (though I think that you might think otherwise after reading this blog).

I am mean.
I am rude.
I make mistakes.
I crumble.
I falter.
I fall.
But one thing I DO NOT do - I do not use people.
I love my friends from my heart.
I live by my means. And I do not pretend to be who I am not.

I am neither materialistic nor opportunistic.
Everything I have, I worked my ass off to get them.

I've never harm anyone for personal or material gain.
I do not take advantage of people.
If I help, I do so without expecting anything in return.

But I am not that good either - I am a gutter-fighter who venerates "revenge".

I am very belligerent and vindictive: if one does me wrong, he will find my retaliation ten-fold.
I do not forgive and I do not forget.

BUT once again, I DO NOT USE PEOPLE.

Let's go back to burning bridges. I think that some bridges are just too "unhealthy" to keep.
There are some people who are not good for us to keep in our lives: ex-lovers who used and abused us, ex-friends who betrayed us, ex-employers who degraded us, people who hurt or harmed us in any way.

This is a very big world - a "new" bridge is not too difficult to build, so why not burn the ones that are bad for us?